My head hurts

Well my head still hurts from trying to figure out what the hell I am going to do about school. I mean I know it’s been mentioned before about my dumb GPA, but  I think a big part of me wants have options.  I mean as far as what do I want to do with my life. Like do I want to do this program or that program?  well the thing is is that I can’t decided, but in talking with my family I came to realize that the most important part of all this school stuff is to be able to have versatility.

You know what I mean. I mean that I need to be able to do what I want whenever I want to. If  I want to teach then I can teach if I want to do counseling then I should be able to do counseling.  But it’s hard for me to decide right now when my GPA seems to be a bit of a struggle for me at this point. I mean I think I can do it but there is so much outside pressure.

I think a lot of it is the fact that Ry still doesn’t have a job. I know the economy is so bad right now, but I need freaking money and that is what is majorly ruling my decision right now. So many people I have talked to tell me that I am thinking way too much into the future. But do I not need to be prepared. I mean to be honest isn’t not being prepared how I got into this mess in the first place?

I want to be able to tell my children that they can be and do whatever they want to do. I don’t myself to be the one that has hindered me from doing what I want to do. Or what I am good at. So I guess it eases my mind a bit. I’ll graduate in June and I will retake those darn classes that I need to take to fix my stupid grade point average. I just feel so dumb that I had this brillant idea now. I mean I’m smart why didn’t I think of this earlier.

I don’t want it to be late to fix or repair. I have to do it now or it can’t be fixed later. It’s not like I can get my degree and go oh crap I need to fix this class so I can get into a masters program.

Oh well more complaining later